I moved to San Diego just prior to entering the new millennium. San Diego was a very different place from what I was accustomed. I had left behind a slower pace of life and the community which I had come to know as ‘home’, for a city that moved at a much faster pace and a lot more expensive to live.
I had considered moving to Montana instead of San Diego, but in San Diego, I had at least the support of my brother and sister. Montana offered what I craved at the time… peace and solitude. San Diego offered opportunities. The pragmatic side of me won out, so San Diego became ‘home’ for the next twenty-plus years.
Recently, I’ve the feeling of being torn between two worlds. San Diego is a great place to live. It has pretty much anything and everything a person could want. But I’m tired. Increasingly of late, I’ve found myself longing for solitude once again. And I long for peace.
Peace… an interesting concept. I don’t rightly know what it is, and I doubt if I will ever find it. But I think, peace is no longer feeling alienated… no longer trying to ‘fit in’… returning to the area of my youth and attempting to reclaim a part of myself, I somehow lost long ago… an attempt to return to simpler times.
The nerd in me is reminded of Frodo leaving Middle Earth in LoTR. He left because his past injuries were too much to bear, and he sought relief from his wounds in the Undying Lands. But even in the Undying Lands, he still bore the Gift of Man. I think this may be what I’m seeking… relief in my version of the Undying Lands and ultimately embracing the Gift of Men.