Patrick Yepes

Over the weekend I was at a local holiday party for the ‘twice plus’ intellectually gifted. As usual, this party was well attended. Let me stop here to say that I love my M friends. They’re the family I’ve chosen. I accept each and every one of them, warts and all. I try to treat them with the utmost respect and expect the same.

Anyway… at one point in the evening, another M turned to me and said words along the lines of ‘I want to ask you about something ‘. Sure, no problem. What’s up?

Long story short… this was, for lack of better words, a very pointed line of questioning as to why I voted a certain way in the last presidential election. My basic reply was that everyone’s political, as well as their religious/non-religious views, are based upon their upbringing and life experiences. But that wasn’t a good enough reason for this person. This person was adamant to know exactly ‘why?’

As stated previously, I love my M family. But this line of inquiry lasted for the better part of an hour or more. Had this occurred in a different social situation, I might have told them to fuck off, go pound sand, etc. But no, warts and all. I wasn’t going to write off ‘family’ so easily. At the end of the evening, when we did part ways, it wasn’t on very friendly terms.

To each their own. My views are my own and don’t require justification or the approval of others. My life experiences play a role in those views. I don’t expect anyone to understand.

It has been a year since my last post. It seems like so much has occurred during that time, but then again, not much at all. Not to sound cryptic, let me explain.

One of the areas of self-improvement I’ve tried to develop these past several years is learning to better interact with others. That’s totally outside my comfort zone. I’m a thinker, a loner, and do lack in certain social graces.  I don’t like superfluous ‘small talk’.  Get to the point, dammit.  And when someone talks to me, I won’t require their respect, but I will insist on common courtesy.  And whatever you do, never try to talk down to me.  Enough said.

So, my personal challenge has been ‘how to smooth my rough edges’? The answer was to thrust myself out of my comfort zone and to take on roles I’d normally avoid. At one point, I was on three different board of directors. In those roles, I had to learn tact and humility. With tact, I had to soften my words and become more diplomatic in resolving conflicts. Humility was a lot harder to learn. I don’t consider myself a prideful person, but my roles on the boards required me to be empathetic.  Empathy wasn’t something that comes naturally to me. It’s not that I don’t care about others… being a very logical person, it was hard for me to understand how someone had gotten themselves in certain positions and then wanted the board to dismiss fines/penalties or to make exceptions to the rules. I get it. Life happens. Not everyone thinks the same way. I had to learn to accept that in others.

All of the weekly board meetings took a lot out of me emotionally. I was fortunate in a way… rarely did I have two different meetings in the same week. That allowed me to recuperate before the next meeting.

Over Memorial Day weekend, San Diego Mensa had their annual Regional Gathering (uRGe). I co-chaired Hospitality. I know, right… funny. Point being, I spent the better part of the four-day event in the Hospitality suite serving and interacting with others. As much as I’m not a people person, these fellow Mensans are my people, my tribe, the family I chose. It took me several days to recuperate from the gathering. I was exhausted. But I think I learned the limits of what I’m capable of giving of myself. I’m getting older and less able to absorb life betterment lessons. I think my time is coming to a close. The boards can function without me. What I really need is my alone time. I’ve missed it.

“…because, you’re only given a little spark of madness. And if you lose that… you’re nothing.”

Robin Williams