Living stories

We are living stories. Our stories intertwine with others. And to the extent that we play an active part in the stories of one another, we’ll be remembered.  Over time, as the accumulation of those other living stories end, we are soon forgotten.

It has been said, ‘Life is for the living’.  I believe that. Sure, we can write about the lives of others, and in a way preserve the life of that person in print… but how do you really capture their essence?

Life is all about experiences. Its messy and complicated. Life can be both rewarding, and it can be full of despair. Don’t dwell too much on the negative aspects of the past. Look positively towards the future.

Live your life without regrets. You cannot undo the past, but you can learn from your mistakes. Strive to be a better human.

Welcome new friendships into your life and try mending any broken ones. Extend grace towards others, for you know not the battles they’ve faced. Enjoy the good times and share in the sorrows of your friends. Your legacy… your part in the greater story… should be how fondly you’re missed when your story in the book of life ends.

Running just below the surface…

The art of subtle communication… an informal type of communication, can be on multiple levels and multifaceted in its application. Communicating effectively requires a working knowledge of several techniques… proxemics, Kinesics, and Haptics. 

Proxemics: proxemics relates to how people unconsciously use and perceive the space around them. Space can be subdivided into public, social, personal, and intimate. The size of these spaces can vary depending on one’s culture, and specific social situation. The use of space maintained between people, can influence the way messages are interpreted.

The observation of people and how they use proxemics in certain situations, can convey the general nature of their relationships to others. For instance, two people in very close proximity to each other, could be indicative of romantic involvement. Two people keeping a lot of distance between, could indicate unease or distrust.

Kinesics: A form of communication through the use of body language. This can be accomplished through the use of gestures, body movement, posture, facial expressions, and eye contact.

Flushing of the skin, crossing one’s arms, and certain types of eye contact are examples.

Haptics:  Relating to the use of touch to communicate.  Touch can convey sympathy, fear, love, etc.

Understanding how to interpret proxemics, Kinesics, and Haptics… we can more accurately gage what someone is subtly telling us. Depending upon that person’s response, we can tailor the tone of our non-verbal cues to encourage, persuade, reject, or even change the other’s opinions and actions. Specific delivery of these three major components of communication is essential in successfully relating to others. 

There are many sub-categories and facets relating to the proxemics, Kinesics, and Haptics. I find this subject matter quite interesting.

Thoughts of the day…

 

 

Adopting a different perspective…

At times, our natural inclinations need to be adjusted, so as to better get along in certain social environments. But changing how we interact with with others can take a great deal of work.

An introverted person can learn from watching an extroverted person in social situations. That extroverted person may teach the introvert techniques in how to successfully interact with other people. Introverts inserting themselves in the right social situations, can help the introvert develop social skills that they may be lacking.

How does this apply to me? What can I learn?

Knowing that I’m a very introverted person, and somewhat lacking in ‘soft skills’, I’ve made it a point to venture out of my comfort zone. Over the last several years, I’ve volunteered and served on several boards. I’ve chaired a few ‘hospitality’ suites which meant that I had to interface with people over extended periods of time.

The take-away for me, was learning to negotiate conflicts with opposing parties… better understanding the viewpoints of others… and the proper use of tact.

 

Games work because people can role play in a fictional frame of reference without real life consequences. 

This is important concept to grasp. While playing games can be fun, it can also help a person develop strategies and play through variables to experience optional outcomes. All without taking any real life risks. And that’s only true unless you’re gambling… to which I’m not speaking. Dreams can serve much the same purpose as game playing… if you’re fortunate to remember once you wake.

Notes on Nerd Camp, WG 2021

24 August 2021 (Tuesday)

With baited excitement, mixed with apprehension… I gazed around the room, looking for familiar faces. Some, I recognized immediately, others left me feeling unsure because their faces were partially obscured by face masks. The pandemic had definitely impacted the World Gathering in terms of numbers, as well as with interactions amongst the attendees.

NOTE: Socially, Mensans can be broken down into a few groups. Some are very outgoing and love physical contact, to include hugging. Others can be quite reserved and can resent their personal space being violated. And, as you can imagine, Mensans can fall somewhere between these extremes. Using colored dot stickers, placed upon our name badges, helps to identify which Mensan prefers what. But the mask mandates in place rendered the dot system non-essential.

25 August 2021 (Wednesday)

During breakfast in Hospitality, an old familiar realization came upon me. I had made a mental note of it before… People were walking around the room, some towards tables, others to pick up food and beverages. In their faces, I observed blank stares, joy and laughter, and varying degrees of weariness. I’m not any sort of expert on the subject, but it was easy to see social awkwardness in some of their faces and in their behaviors… and maybe even flashes of autism. Witnessing some of the interactions between Mensans kinda ‘confirmed’ my suspicions. It was hard for me to see it. I felt sadness, but also, some sense of relief. They could’ve been me. And, to a certain degree, they were. As I sat there thinking about them, I wondered if that was how other people… ‘regular’ people, thought about me.

I’m sure, to many folks, I can come off as a bit eccentric and awkward. I try to manage my actions and quirks to present, what I think to be, a favorable impression… or at least a neutral one. But what if, just maybe… I was being viewed by others in much the same way as these fellow Mensans I was observing?

Before and after…

 

Did people treat you differently after they found out you were a Mensa member?

First of all, I’d like to say that I do not think my personal experiences are unique. I do get reminded on a regular basis that I’m viewed and treated differently in certain situations. On occasion I can quite readily spot when the ‘atmosphere’ changes when interacting with people. I’m referring to how you’re treated when others don’t know you’re highly intelligent vs when they find out you’re not the fool they thought. This kinda goes to the heart of my post, ‘Before and after’.

Several years ago I approached an engineer where I was employed at the time and asked about an opening in programming. This engineer was highly respected and had been with the company for a long time. So, I knocked on his office door and was invited in to take a seat. I asked about the job and his thoughts about me applying for the position. I was taken aback when he actually told me ‘I don’t think you’re smart enough to do the job’. Wow! That was totally unexpected. Never mind that I was hired into my then, current position by this engineer and had worked for him too. I didn’t respond to his comment. I just politely thanked him for his time and walked out of his office. I formed a few opinions about the engineer that day, 1) I would never seek to work for him in any capacity, ever again, 2) the engineer was obviously not a good judge of a person’s abilities, 3) he must have either not read my resume, or had forgotten that I once owned a CNC machine shop and wrote programs for all the parts I ran through my shop. So, my qualifications should not have been in doubt… but it was. A few years later I happened to be working on a project he was involved in. We got to talking and he noticed that I was wearing a shirt with the Mensa logo emblazoned on the front. He looked at me and asked if I was in Mensa. ‘Yes’, I responded, ‘I’m also the current president of San Diego Mensa’. If ever there was a time that I could read the facial cues on another’s face, it was then. I could see the progression of realization from our previous conversation to then… when he figured out that he had made a gross assumption and he now looked like an asshole. For my part, I’ve never reminded him of his ‘I don’t think you’re smart enough to do the job’ comment. But, I will admit, he did change his approach to me from condescension to more or less as a peer. Some people just have much too big an ego to ever apologize. I respect the guy professionally, but not personally.

This same type of story happens to me constantly with a few twists here and there. The assumptions are that I’m somehow less a person to them for whatever reason. Maybe they look down upon me because I chose a blue collar profession… it could be that they’re just egotistical cunts. Who knows? Once these people find out that I’m not the dumbass they thought I was, I’m treated in one of three ways. Their treatment towards me becomes courteous and mutually respectful, they try to prove they’re smarter than me, or they simply try to avoid me. The third option confuses me. Those are the ones I go out of my way to engage. Their discomfort amuses me to no end.

At times, I’ve had people challenge me by either kidding around, or to ‘show me up’. Two examples… one time I was cutting through the warehouse when a forklift driver and his coworker crossed my path. The forklift driver slowed down and said, ‘I bet that I can beat you in a game of chess!’ To which I replied, ‘you probably could. I don’t play chess’. He looked at me blankly at my unexpected answer and continued on his way. Another time I had clocked out and was on my way out to my car. As I walked down a hallway towards the parking lot, some engineer said, ‘Quick! What’s 2 plus 2?’. Without thinking I responded, ‘4, and it smells like gasoline!’ He smiled at first and then asked, ‘Really? It smells like gasoline?’ I just smiled and kept on walking.

I do think people tend to judge others based upon their appearances, their educational background, etc. I had posted an earlier thread that had to do with implicit biases. I think this can roughly explain my experiences. Here is that link… https://patrickyepes.com/2021/04/confronting-our-implicit-biases/

The Dunning-Kruger effect, psychological sets, and the bottom twelve percent.

 

Some of the things I’ve been contemplating recently…

What is the Dunning-Kruger effect? What are psychological sets? And, who exactly are the bottom twelve percent?

Dunning-Kruger

Simply put, the Dunning-Kruger effect is when someone has a lot of confidence and over estimates their limited knowledge about a subject… whereas, a knowledgeable person would tend to underestimate their own knowledge because they realize just how much they do not know.

The polar opposite of the Dunning-Kruger effect is the ‘imposter syndrome’. This term was coined in 1978 to describe high achieving individuals who felt that their successes were a matter of luck or fraud. These individuals feel as if their successes are undeserved.

Psychological Sets

When discussing ‘sets’, it is important to take into consideration the many types of sets a person may undertake. A set is a group of expectations that can be shaped by the experiences of a person, which in turn, makes that person more sensitive to specific kinds of information, which can lead to what is known as ‘cognitive entrenchment’.

To avoid cognitive entrenchment, it can useful to consider, and to think about things from people who have differing points of view. Not only will they tell you things you may not already know, they may also give you a new perspective on a subject matter. People who are fixed thinkers have the tendency to only see solutions that have worked in the past. This can best be described as having a ‘mental set’.

A perceptual set (perceptual expectancy), is a predisposition to perceive things in a certain way. An individual’s perceptual set is influenced by their life experiences, beliefs, motivations, education, culture, and core values. They can, in turn, impact how the individual navigates new experiences and problems, and can predispose the individual to interpret situations and new information in a biased way, based upon that individual’s perception.

And a mental set is the framework in which a person approaches or thinks about a problem. The tendency is to use the same method or solution process that worked with solving previous problems, while purposely or subconsciously, ignoring alternative solutions. This is essentially a very real cognitive block that impedes their ability to correctly, and quickly, solve the problem at hand.

How do we keep an open mind and not fall into perceptual and/or mental sets? One way we can try to overcome sets is to abstract the problem. Simplify the problem down to its essential elements. Do not pass judgment on ideas early on in the problem solving process. Listen to alternative perspectives and possible solutions.

The bottom twelve percent

This is a particularly controversial subject, but I do think it must be addressed. Jordan Peterson, a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto, roughly stated that someone with an IQ of 83 or lower, would be barred from joining the U.S. armed forces. Supposedly, with an IQ of 83 or below, there were no occupations within the U.S. armed forces that would be worthwhile to train that potential soldier to do. In other words, that person was not cost-effective to induct.

I’ve done a little research to determine the validity of this assertion. The best I could find does correlate, to some extent, his basic statement. But I do not think that’s the important take-away from his point. The real point in the statement is about the IQ score of 83, which translates to about 12.8% of the population. Twelve point eight percent out of a population of 331,000,000 people in the United States (2020 estimate), equates to 42.36 million people. Think about that for a moment… 42 million people are not intelligent enough to be of much use to our armed forces… in any capacity. This is alarming for several reasons, 1) our armed services are an excellent way to propel service members up the socio-economic ladder, from lower to middle class and middle to upper class, 2) modern capitalism postulates that, with hard work and diligence, any person can raise himself/herself up out of poverty, 3) With each subsequent generation, Western society becomes more sophisticated and technologically advanced. Realizing that nearly 13% of our population hasn’t the mental ability to be economically useful, even as cannon fodder, for our armed services… what hope do they have functioning in modern society? How does society deal with that problem?

 

A Golden Opportunity?

Background information:

Iran seeks to create a regional hegemony in the Middle East, and is traced back to the Iranian Revolution of 1979. They’re being opposed by Saudi Arabia. Their campaign for influence is known as The Middle East Cold War. This cold war is waged on multiple levels… geopolitical, economic, and sectarian influence. The United States backs Saudi Arabia and the Saudi’s allies, while Russia and China supports Iran and its allies. The problem that occurs in a regional hegemony is that it tends to limit the development of peer competitors in that region.

The current rash of conflicts between the two, started with the Arab Spring of 2011. Iran and Saudi Arabia have faced off in several regional conflicts to include the Bahraini uprising (2011-2014), the Syrian Civil War (2011 – today), and the Yemeni Civil War (2015 – today).

The Iran-Israel Cold War gradually emerged from the aftermath of the Iranian Revolution (1979). Iran has declared that Iran’s ultimate aim is the dissolution of the state of Israel. Iran has been involved in conflicts pitting Syria, Lebanon, and the terror groups Hamas and Hezbollah, against Israel.

Iranian aggressions since 2019:

12 May –  four commercial oil tankers were damaged in the Gulf of Oman.

17 June – the United States deployed another 1,000 troops to the Middle East after another two ships were attacked in the Gulf of Oman.

20 June – Iran shoots down U.S. drone (RQ-4 Global Hawk).

18 July – An Iranian drone closed to within 1,000 yards of the U.S.S. Boxer, who then electronically jammed the drone, causing it to crash.

27 December – rocket attack on the K1 Air Base (Kaywan) in Iraq. One American contractor killed, and several American and Iraqi military injured.

31 December – Iranian backed military groups storm U.S. embassy in Iraq.

7 January 2020 – Iran launches 15 missiles into Iraq at U.S. military targets, in retaliation to Gen. Qassem Soleimani’s killing.

Side notes:

It is worth noting that in a meeting with Netanyahu (June 2016), Vladimir Putin described Israel and Russia as “unconditional allies” in “efforts to counter international terrorism”

In July of 2018, President Trump and Vladimir Putin agreed to cooperate in ensuring Israel’s security.

Summary:

With the recent demise of Iranian Quds Force Gen. Qassem Soleimani, and the very limited and ultimately ineffective retaliatory strikes back from Iran, President Trump has the opportunity to finally do what no previous president has done… put a stop to Iran’s nuclear ambitions. Iran recently declared that they will no longer abide by the 2015 Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (the Iran nuclear deal framework).

With the recent escalation in tensions between the United States and Iran, Trump has more than sufficient reasons to make a preemptive strike at Iran’s nuclear ambitions. And it seems that Putin has little interest in standing in the way should Trump attack Iran. I guess we shall see how this ultimately plays out in the coming months.

 

Something… out of nothing?

How can something be created from nothingness? How is that a possibility? Furthermore, how can it be proven?

If we were to place a box under vacuum, theoretically, we would have a box of nothingness. But is it really empty? The answer is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Enter quantum fluctuation. A particle can be created in a vacuum, and disappear, provided that it happens very quickly.

In quantum physics, a quantum fluctuation is the temporary change in the amount of energy in a point in space, also known as the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. The uncertainty principle states that for a pair of conjugate variables such as position/momentum or energy/time, it is impossible to have a precisely determined value of each member of the pair at the same time.

Quantum physics and Special Theory of Relativity were further explained via Dirac’s famous equation.

Dirac equation(original)

This equation describes particles and anti-particles. These particles are created in pairs, which can borrow energy from a vacuum before reuniting and cancelling each other out, thus returning the borrowed energy. These ‘virtual particles’ can appear and disappear trillions of times in a blink of an eye. One proof that this does happen, is by observing electrons of an atom in a vacuum. The electrons want to move on a flat plane around an atom. If the electrons bobble in their orbit around an atom, it is because of particles and anti-particles, interfering and affecting the electrons’ orbits.

Now, this all begs the question, ‘Why does any of this matter?’ Well, we know that the universe is expanding at an accelerated rate, but what is the driving force? One theory suggested that dark energy was the reason. A new theory puts forth the idea that, with the creation and destruction of these virtual particles, the universe oscillates between expansion and contraction. During these oscillations, the net effect is that the universe expands very slowly, but at an ever accelerating rate.

Non-thinkers…

Have we become a society of non-thinkers? Or, collectively, have we always been shallow in our thinking and reasoning processes? With the advent of social media, has this phenomenon just been more evident?

I dare say, we’ve all seen a sensational, attention grabbing headline online, or in the news. But upon reading the news article, we discover that the story behind the headlines, sometimes has little to do with the original impression the headline had given. The headline was nothing more than a ‘hook’, to get the audience to read the article. The problem in that, is a substantial portion of the general public, won’t bother to read the article. But, they will regurgitate the misleading headline as if it were gospel. Maybe they do this because it somehow fits into their political agendas? Into their limited world views? In other words, it fits into their confirmation bias.

One would think, with the world wide web at our disposal, people would take the time to at least do a Google search and gather additional information about a subject matter. Sadly, that usually isn’t the case. 

 

 

Passion for books

(Uncle Remus, by Joel Chandler Harris 1921)

 

One of the joys of my life is my passion for books. It was something that kind of happened over time. As digital media became more prevalent, people turned away from the printed word. As a consequence, books were being disposed in great quantities. I’m not talking about your run-of-the-mill paperbacks being tossed aside, but high quality classics 100+ years old. They were the type and quality books that would be the foundation of family libraries, first editions and ‘banned’ books (see above picture) that the politically correct police deemed unworthy to be read in our ever evolving, self-righteous society.

Among the many tomes in my collection, is a 1919 copy of The Merry Adventures of Robinhood by Howard Pyle, a 1st edition (1863) example of Tales of a Wayside Inn by Longfellow, and 5 volume set of Les Miserables (1887) by Victor Hugo.

As time goes by, classic hardbacks are becoming more scarce. It is my hope that these books will one day come back into vogue.

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