Liberalism, Logic's retarded cousin.
First range day of the new year out at the Pala reservation just north of San Diego, California. I went out with my buddy Sam and his two nephews. Of course, I wore shorts to the range, and it was a chilly 39 degrees at 7 in the morning. Nevertheless, it warmed up soon enough and was quite pleasant morning.
After an hour taking turns with the .308 Rogue, we went over to the pistol range… and finished on the shotgun range. I think the boys liked the VR80 shotgun chambered in 12 gauge.
Man club etiquette has certain unspoken rules in many varying social situations. For instance, when using a public restroom, conversation should be kept to a minimum. The last thing a guy wants is another guy talking to him while he’s urinating. Come on, dude…
Another unspoken rule is to space yourself out at the urinals. Leave a urinal between yourself and the other guy. No need to get all cozy here.
So, here’s the setting. There is a restroom at my workplace that has four urinals. The first urinal is set lower on the wall than the other three. You enter the restroom ahead of another guy. There are a few psychological plays here. Which urinal do you select and why?
Option 1
Select the first urinal because it’s the right height. No play.
Option 2
Select the second or fourth urinal. That gives the other guy a standard height urinal, thus making you both ‘equal’. Fair play and respectful.
Option 3
Select the third urinal and make sure to look the other guy in the eye while doing so. This act forces the other guy to make one of two choices. He can either choose to avoid the lower first urinal and saddle up to one of the urinals on either side of you… thus breaking the man club rule and rejecting your ‘power play’, or… use the lower first urinal and by doing so, accepts the submissive urinal.
It has been a year since my last post. It seems like so much has occurred during that time, but then again, not much at all. Not to sound cryptic, let me explain.
One of the areas of self-improvement I’ve tried to develop these past several years is learning to better interact with others. That’s totally outside my comfort zone. I’m a thinker, a loner, and do lack in certain social graces. I don’t like superfluous ‘small talk’. Get to the point, dammit. And when someone talks to me, I won’t require their respect, but I will insist on common courtesy. And whatever you do, never try to talk down to me. Enough said.
So, my personal challenge has been ‘how to smooth my rough edges’? The answer was to thrust myself out of my comfort zone and to take on roles I’d normally avoid. At one point, I was on three different board of directors. In those roles, I had to learn tact and humility. With tact, I had to soften my words and become more diplomatic in resolving conflicts. Humility was a lot harder to learn. I don’t consider myself a prideful person, but my roles on the boards required me to be empathetic. Empathy wasn’t something that comes naturally to me. It’s not that I don’t care about others… being a very logical person, it was hard for me to understand how someone had gotten themselves in certain positions and then wanted the board to dismiss fines/penalties or to make exceptions to the rules. I get it. Life happens. Not everyone thinks the same way. I had to learn to accept that in others.
All of the weekly board meetings took a lot out of me emotionally. I was fortunate in a way… rarely did I have two different meetings in the same week. That allowed me to recuperate before the next meeting.
Over Memorial Day weekend, San Diego Mensa had their annual Regional Gathering (uRGe). I co-chaired Hospitality. I know, right… funny. Point being, I spent the better part of the four-day event in the Hospitality suite serving and interacting with others. As much as I’m not a people person, these fellow Mensans are my people, my tribe, the family I chose. It took me several days to recuperate from the gathering. I was exhausted. But I think I learned the limits of what I’m capable of giving of myself. I’m getting older and less able to absorb life betterment lessons. I think my time is coming to a close. The boards can function without me. What I really need is my alone time. I’ve missed it.
“…because, you’re only given a little spark of madness. And if you lose that… you’re nothing.”
Robin Williams
A celebration of life is commonly held in remembrance of someone’s life. How awesome would it be, if we celebrated a person’s life while they’re still among us?
We are living stories. Our stories intertwine with others. And to the extent that we play an active part in the stories of one another, we’ll be remembered. Over time, as the accumulation of those other living stories end, we are soon forgotten.
It has been said, ‘Life is for the living’. I believe that. Sure, we can write about the lives of others, and in a way preserve the life of that person in print… but how do you really capture their essence?
Life is all about experiences. Its messy and complicated. Life can be both rewarding, and it can be full of despair. Don’t dwell too much on the negative aspects of the past. Look positively towards the future.
Live your life without regrets. You cannot undo the past, but you can learn from your mistakes. Strive to be a better human.
Welcome new friendships into your life and try mending any broken ones. Extend grace towards others, for you know not the battles they’ve faced. Enjoy the good times and share in the sorrows of your friends. Your legacy… your part in the greater story… should be how fondly you’re missed when your story in the book of life ends.
Recently I’ve had to deal with an absolute moron on one of those e-commerce websites. You know the type… basically an online yard sale. Back in the day, more than 20+ years ago when I first joined, it wasn’t too bad. Sure, every one of those websites has its problems, but as the saying goes… if you sleep with dogs, you’re bound to get fleas.
Here are a couple of tips to help protect yourself from the scammers and other financial predators on those sites.
1. Only list items that the total price sells for less than $100.
This is because, if a seller claims the package ‘never arrived’, ‘was damaged in transit’, or any other excuse… the insurance included with priority mail ($100) will cover any loses.
2. Never combine shipping costs if a buyer wins several auctions.
This goes back to #1. Never sell anything that exceeds the insurance limit. If possible, break down higher priced items into smaller lots. Combining lots, while beneficial to the buyer, will inevitably come back to bite you in the ass.
Interestingly enough, the website to which I’m referring (not to be named), automatically sides with the buyer as long as the buyer claims an item won was ‘not as advertised’. It doesn’t matter how clear pictures for the items are, how much information you provide about the item, etc., the buyer will be given the right to a refund. That’s also true if you’ve clearly stated in your auction that returns are not accepted. You must understand, the website is a glorified online flea market… no matter how many billions of dollars they earn a year. Nothing is allowed to get in the way of their profits. Scammers thrive under these conditions.
My advice to you is to think carefully before placing anything for sell online. Try other methods first. Online auction sites allow bad actors to thrive.
“The only winning move is not to play.” War Games (1983)
Be safe out there!
The art of subtle communication… an informal type of communication, can be on multiple levels and multifaceted in its application. Communicating effectively requires a working knowledge of several techniques… proxemics, Kinesics, and Haptics.
Proxemics: proxemics relates to how people unconsciously use and perceive the space around them. Space can be subdivided into public, social, personal, and intimate. The size of these spaces can vary depending on one’s culture, and specific social situation. The use of space maintained between people, can influence the way messages are interpreted.
The observation of people and how they use proxemics in certain situations, can convey the general nature of their relationships to others. For instance, two people in very close proximity to each other, could be indicative of romantic involvement. Two people keeping a lot of distance between, could indicate unease or distrust.
Kinesics: A form of communication through the use of body language. This can be accomplished through the use of gestures, body movement, posture, facial expressions, and eye contact.
Flushing of the skin, crossing one’s arms, and certain types of eye contact are examples.
Haptics: Relating to the use of touch to communicate. Touch can convey sympathy, fear, love, etc.
Understanding how to interpret proxemics, Kinesics, and Haptics… we can more accurately gage what someone is subtly telling us. Depending upon that person’s response, we can tailor the tone of our non-verbal cues to encourage, persuade, reject, or even change the other’s opinions and actions. Specific delivery of these three major components of communication is essential in successfully relating to others.
There are many sub-categories and facets relating to the proxemics, Kinesics, and Haptics. I find this subject matter quite interesting.
Adopting a different perspective…
At times, our natural inclinations need to be adjusted, so as to better get along in certain social environments. But changing how we interact with with others can take a great deal of work.
An introverted person can learn from watching an extroverted person in social situations. That extroverted person may teach the introvert techniques in how to successfully interact with other people. Introverts inserting themselves in the right social situations, can help the introvert develop social skills that they may be lacking.
How does this apply to me? What can I learn?
Knowing that I’m a very introverted person, and somewhat lacking in ‘soft skills’, I’ve made it a point to venture out of my comfort zone. Over the last several years, I’ve volunteered and served on several boards. I’ve chaired a few ‘hospitality’ suites which meant that I had to interface with people over extended periods of time.
The take-away for me, was learning to negotiate conflicts with opposing parties… better understanding the viewpoints of others… and the proper use of tact.
Games work because people can role play in a fictional frame of reference without real life consequences.
This is important concept to grasp. While playing games can be fun, it can also help a person develop strategies and play through variables to experience optional outcomes. All without taking any real life risks. And that’s only true unless you’re gambling… to which I’m not speaking. Dreams can serve much the same purpose as game playing… if you’re fortunate to remember once you wake.
People have questions about Mensa. In this short video, I try to answer a few of those questions. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. Thank you!
Recently, California Governor Gavin Newsom signed legislation into law that capped fast food worker minimum wage at $22 per hour. It goes into effect in 2023. Starting in 2024, the minimum wage will adjust according to inflation, but will be capped at 3.5% annually. Sounds great for those fast food workers, right? Maybe not.
Consider how other employed workers will feel, having climbed the economic ladder, having earned the hourly wage they now enjoy. Jacking up unskilled labor wages erodes the gains those workers had. Their previously higher wages will now have less buying power than before… also factor in increased prices across the the economy to pay those increased minimum wages.
And there are other considerations… Employers are very conscious of their operating budgets and how taxes and wages affect their bottom lines. At some point, it becomes more affordable to replace humans with automation. Sure, people will still be needed to keep automated machinery working properly. But it is highly doubtful many of the people who will be replaced by automation, would have the skills necessary to maintain those machines. So, what happens to them?
Another potential outcome of raising the minimum wage to unrealistic levels, is that the unskilled fast food workers would be replaced by college educated workers. Twenty-two dollars an hour is not bad money to a recent college graduate. Employers are always trying to hire the most competent workers for the wages offered. Having a choice between hiring a college graduate or someone without a degree, well… you get the picture.
Unskilled workers losing their jobs to automation and college educated people, kinda defeats the original intention of the ‘living wage’ concept. I’m no proponent of a living wage. The minimum wage is supposed to be a temporary wage to an employee until that person learns more skills to justify higher wages. Employers being forced to pay higher minimum wages to unskilled labor, seems to me, like a very bad idea. How many businesses will leave the state? How many people will not start future small businesses in California? What are all the long-term unintended consequences?
Time will tell…