My brother, the Gunny.

My brother has a way of doing things to cause a stink… literally. It’s his way of saying he likes you.
One afternoon I was watching TV when the phone rang. I saw from the caller ID that it was from my brother so I answered.
“Hello?”
“Patrick! You know what the hell your brother just did?????” screamed his wife Kelly through the phone.
“Hey, you married the guy. What do you want me to do about it?” I replied.
“Listen to what he just did to me!” she said.
“Ok…” Hell, in all honesty, I didn’t have anything else to do and she was pissed. I figured this might be fun.
“I was in taking a shower, all by myself…” she started out saying.
“Get to the point, Kelly. The sun is going down.” I sarcastically replied.
“Shut it, mister! Shut your damned pie hole and listen!” Yeah, she was mad. Kelly was a Navy Corpsman, a psych tech (Marine Certified) to be exact. She was used to other people’s attitude and she wasn’t having any of mine or my brother’s.
“Go ahead….” I knew this had to be good.
“I was taking a damned shower and all of a sudden this god awful smell started choking me. I was like WTF??? So I pulled the shower curtain back and saw YOUR brother taking a shit! Right there… while I was taking a shower!!!” Her voice trailed off in a high pitched squeak.
“Kelly, did you lock the door?” I asked.
‘No!” she said.
“Then it’s your own damned fault. You know how Tony is…. YOU married him!” I shot back. Kelly hung up. She should have known she’d get no sympathy from me.

About patrick

Master CNC machinist, entrepreneur, novice writer, and Mensan.

San Diego Mensa Scholarship Chair 2015-2017
San Diego Mensa Development Officer 2015-2018

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