Man club tips!

 

I was chatting recently with a friend of mine. He’s a single guy and was lamenting about how difficult it was to find available women. After making a few sarcastic jabs at him… because that’s what close friends do… I gave him a few pointers. Now keep in mind, guys being guys, we tend to be more caveman-like when we are talking amongst ourselves and full knuckle dragging usually ensues!

Here are a few ‘pearls of wisdom’ I bestowed upon him…

Bar name

If you’re just playing the field and not interested in an ongoing relationship, you may want to consider using a bar name. A bar name is nothing more than a made up name that you go by when doing the bar scene. If someone tries to track you down using the internet, etc., you won’t be found. If you want to be a true player, you have to up your game with fictitious business cards containing your bar name and some sort of believable business title, a burner cell phone number, and an email address (used only for dating purposes). Keep it simple.

Booger-Bear

A Booger-Bear is someone that hangs on you in a bar that you’re really not interested in pursuing romantically. You don’t want to be blunt and hurt this person’s feelings, but at the same time, don’t want to continue talking to them. What to do? Well, you walk the person over to a group of other people you casually know and introduce her to them. As they’re exchanging pleasantries, you step away quickly and ditch her. This is in effect, wiping her off on someone else… hence the term Booger-Bear.

Produce aisle

So, where should you look for women? Most men do not like to shop. Consequently, women are typically the ones that dominate the male-to-female ratios in most shopping environments… with a few notable exceptions. The produce aisle is a prime location to find women. ‘Why?’, you ask. Well, think about it… if they’re in the fresh produce aisle 1) they’re probably a good cook, 2) are into a healthier lifestyle, 3) depending upon the time of day, are single, a stay-at-home mom, or retired. Pick the one that suits your needs.

How does one approach a female in the produce aisle? Here’s the cave-man answer… ask for her opinion about produce selection. Women like having their opinions valued. When a man timidly smiles and asks her opinion, it places the woman in a position of dominance. She has the upper hand in this situation. Depending upon how she responds to you (if she smiles, turns red, plays with her hair, etc.), you’ll know if she’s receptive to you. It’s now up to you to go forward, soldier! Just don’t overplay your hand.

Ice cream aisle

Much like the produce aisle, we have the ice cream aisle. The difference here is that this is the aisle you want to leave alone. The women here are divided into two primary groups. One group is just there to grab ice cream and be on their way. The second group is looking to fill an inner void, sadness, or perhaps unfulfilled dreams. Let us examine this exotic creature in her habitat.

First group

Lady is passing through the aisle and very briefly looks at the ice cream before tossing a container or two into her shopping cart and is merrily on her way, quick and efficient! Clearly she has no time to waste on deciding what flavor she wants. Most likely, she’s grabbing either chocolate or vanilla ice cream, no frills or thrills here.

Second group

This lady may be nicely dressed but usually looks like she just crawled out of bed. Perhaps she’s still wearing sweat pants and not wearing make-up. She spends a fair amount of time looking at all the varieties… contemplating which flavor would best fill her particular sorrow. Sure, she may still look kind of attractive at this point, but in a few short months…! Jenny Craig will come to know her on a first name basis. Give her time. Let her work through her demons. Perhaps, if you’re lucky, you’ll see her soon in the produce aisle.

Now, I do want to be fair. A lot of this can also apply to men. Women look for men in hardware stores, and sometimes in auto parts stores. Logic would dictate that men found in these locations, know how to fix things. What woman doesn’t like a man who can do chores around the house?

 

 

 

 

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